Posted on 9th April, 2021
Having a good relationship with yourself is easier said than done. Similarly to all types of relationships, romantic or otherwise, we need to engage in a conscious, continuous effort to have a healthy relationship with ourselves.
This could be especially challenging for women who deal with hormonal periods during certain times of the month for example.
When my hormones took over, nothing was right: I had nothing to wear, nothing looked good, and I had bad hair day every day. So, while some days might not be as bright or perky as others, you need to try and exercise patience and self-love until the sun rises again on your street.
Spiritual healing is just as important as physical healing. When you feel hopeless, sad, or anxious you may feel as if your world is about to collapse and everything's pitch black. You don't know how you got to where you are or what to do next. But that's OK because all you need to do is stay still, take care of yourself, and reflect. There's nowhere to go because there's no need for you to go anywhere.
Press Pause and Take a Breath: Consciously stop and take a slow breath. It may sound trivial but deep breaths have been shown to have a positive effect on our emotional and psychological well-being which makes it a crucial first step in your endeavor to self-regulation. Observe everything around you, get present, and stay there for as long as it feels comfortable.
Be Realistic: Always remind yourself that nothing that happened or you think will happen is as disastrous as your mind makes it out to be. Everything has a solution even if you can't find an immediate one. Sometimes we need to let things play out and unfold and the problem will self-solve in ways you might not expect.
Don't Blame Yourself or Anyone Else: Blaming is futile and it will only drain you of the energy much needed for your recuperation. Ask yourself: does it matter? Will it solve your problems? Your guess is as good as mine and the answer is obvious. Constant blaming and thought rumination will only dig the hole you're in deeper and deeper. Take charge of your mind, redirect your thoughts to the present, and focus on healing. There's no need to solve all the world's problems right now.
Focus on Self-Care: I know caring for yourself might be the last thing on your mind, but try not to see it as a chore or something complicated or time-consuming. You can care for yourself simply by doing the things you love or by not doing anything at all. Personally, I go to bed, get some rest, and drink water or my favorite beverage. I tuck myself in the coziest spot with my favorite blanket. If that's not enough, I take my most spiritual, inspirational book and soak in a hot bath and read.
Whenever you have a bad day, you probably want to tell everyone off and you might indulge in self-stabbing, self-hate, and negative self-talk. I know that sometimes it's not possible to lift yourself so don't force yourself to. Most of my clients who come to see me struggle with self-regulation because they don't spend enough time with themselves to understand their needs or quirks.
Finally, no matter how many days it takes you, practice patience and know that tomorrow will be a better day than yesterday. You will get through this because you are stronger and more capable than you give yourself credit.