What to Do if You Know Someone Is Cheating

Posted on 2nd August, 2021

by Shawna

If your friend's partner is having an affair and you find out, what do you do? It's not a simple question. Can you pretend nothing happened?

What to do when you know a couple and one of them is cheating? If you are asking this, there is a reason.

It's a tricky situation, and it's tough to know how to respond, but the worst likely scenario for you is to do nothing.

Here's what you could do:

  1. Talk with the cheater - It is often a challenging situation for the cheaters, and the best you can do is advise them to seek help and get some counseling. Whether the cheater is in love with both persons or just having an affair, a distraction, it's still a tough situation. Most cheaters know they will hurt someone at some point. You have a choice to speak the truth and communicate with the cheater of your concerns as a caring person.
  2. Encourage confession - A marriage or any other type of relationship can not be harmonious when spouses or partners keep secrets from one another. Cheating always involves lying, manipulation, and deception. The couple will continue to live a lie that eventually will crack the foundation of their relationship. My advice? Give the cheater a timeline a week or two to confess. Not doing anything will make you become the cheater's co-conspirator.
  3. Talk with the person who is cheated on - Talk and listen; ask questions about their relationship; this will open the window to talk about fidelity. Without knowing what's happening, the person who is cheated on can't make an informed decision about what they want to do with that relationship.
  4. Keep encouraging both spouses to fight for their relationship.

What is Spirit's recommendation?

Spirit suggests talking first with the person who's cheating, advising the cheater to seek help. Recommending to get some counseling is the kindest and wisest thing you can do.

It is tough to act like you know nothing and not say anything, so you need to be firm even if there's a risk that they will hate you. It would be best if you took that risk to save a marriage. I believe a loyal friend cannot stand by and watch them make their situation worse. Their reaction to you telling the truth will prove whether your friends are worthy of your friendship.

My dear, this is a tough decision; it's your call, but that's what Spirit recommends, and I agree.