The Key to Transformation Is Self-love

Posted on 7th June, 2020

by Shawna

Anyone who knows me knows that my work is much more than a job to me. I am my work in the world and my work is born through me as completely as birthing a child. During the meetings with my clients, we engage in deeply spiritual and inspiring conversations. Over the past thirty years, my clients have asked about their lives and shared so much with me. As Spirit guides people, I have noticed that one very common topic during these conversations is love, especially self-love. Just the other day one of my clients shared her story with me. She just realized that when she decided to accept and love herself, she gained access to her inner resources. Her life transformed into a meaningful existence. She noticed that all of her relationships began to shift in a wonderful way. She noticed that she liked people much more and felt much more acceptance coming to her from others.

People are afraid to love themselves freely, considering self-love as selfish. In reality, it is completely the opposite. Self-love is never narcissistic, but it seems to be the hardest love to experience and nurture. When we learn what it is to truly love ourselves, we overflow with a fulness of love that reaches into all hearts and brings the light of love. When we do not love ourselves we expect that love from others and that is one of the prime reasons for relationship problems. When we are not the source of love, we try to fill our emptiness with all kinds of things and activities that are never helpful. We can never be fulfilled, always longing for others' love and attention. We must learn to care for ourselves. Self-love has nothing to do with selfishness, vanity, and self-obsession that is focused solely on personal gain and fortune as is the case with narcissism.

Be the Lover and the Loved One

Once you have the strength to accept and love yourself, you'll be able to give love to others. As Aristotle stated, "All friendly feelings for others are an extension of a man's feelings for himself. " We can only share what we have within us. If we do not love ourselves, we cannot love anyone else either. As we learn to accept, understand, and love ourselves, our life will start to be meaningful. When we start to love ourselves, we become capable of loving others unconditionally with no expectations. What happens when we love without expectations? Our relationships with others will start to heal and blossom. Imagine a world where you knew that everyone saw the best in you and admired you exactly as you are. Every soul craves to be seen and valued and they will adore you for the acceptance and love they feel from you. Be kind to yourself first and it will be natural to be kind to others.

My dear friend, I'm challenging you to be kind to yourself and love yourself more from now on. Realize that ultimately, self-love springs from self-awareness:

  • It is your decision - be your own best friend.
  • You are responsible for your thoughts, feelings, and actions.
  • Knowing yourself better means knowing how to meet your own needs.

More information can be found in my award-winning book Knowing: https://www.amazon.com/Knowing-Shawna-Allard/dp/1946848506